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The blog hits for PINOYWORLD is now again on tremendous rise as Pinoy’s all over the world are inquiring about Renaldo Lapuz. Who is he?

Renaldo Lapuz, a Filipino living on Reno, Nevada, stunned the American Idol stage season 7. This 44-year old American Idol wannabe presented another twist in his presentation while singing “We’re Brothers Forever” at the shows Dallas Audition, which Simon Cowell predicted to be a next hit. Indeed, Mr. Lapuz rocked the Youtube and American Idol website and earned his instant fame.

Obviously enjoying the entertaining rendition of his song, American Idol Randy Jackson, Paula Abdula and even Ryan Seacrest,

Filipino drivers can relate to this article forwarded to me by John Patrick Sevilla <jpatricks1@gmail.com>. Though the theme have been discussed in humorous prose, readers should taste every bit of “truth” there is. Isn’t this the picture of the Filipino Driver?

ON COURTESY

When greeting a Filipino driver, slowly lower your window and be prepared to greet the driver with: “Tang namo, bobo”.

However, if you have been already addressed by a fellow driver, reply with a joyful ” ‘Tang namo rin, gago”.

ON TURN SIGNALS

If a driver in another lane turns on the turn signal, do not let him go into your lane. In fact, press the accelerator and start driving right next to him/her. The fellow driver will probably greet you and you already know what to do.

ON TRAFFIC LIGHTS

These amusing artifacts hang from intersections for no apparent reason. Sometimes you will see drivers stop to see the colors change on these lights (a fascinating experience). Government officials (specifically police) believe that each color stands for an instruction for drivers to follow.

From pure observation I have determined the following instructions for each color: Yellow light: accelerate your car as much as possible.

Red light: this light gives permission to the next five to six cars to go through.

Green light: reduce speed and wait for the five to six cars passing through their respective red lights.

Little-known- fact: Time to start honking your horn, as soon as the light turns green: 1.5 seconds.

ON CHANGING LANES

Changing lanes has been elevated to an art form in the Philippines.

First of all, no matter what you do, never turn on your turn signal or otherwise you’ll stimulate the reaction described above.

Second, swerve your car uncontrollably to the lane you want to change, preferably if you end up within inches of a car in that lane. At this point a greeting from the other driver may be in order.

To perfect your change of lanes, reduce the speed of your car dramatically in a matter of seconds and you will see an action packed reaction from the car behind you.

ON TRAFFIC JAMS

Traffic Jams are teeming with fun filled activities such as:

• Honking your horn rhythmically.
• Put on make-up (usually female drivers only)
• Nose-pickers sightseeing. (not to be confused with people who scratch their brains through their nose)
• Reduce speed to watch whatever is causing the traffic jam. Add excitement by trying to see if you know the parties involved. (note: every Filipino driver is obliged to do this)
• Lose weight by sweating like a pig as a result of a lack of air conditioning.
• Greet other drivers.

PRACTICE LANE CHANGING

Play the game: Let’s see how close I can get to you before rear-ending you.

ON PEDESTRIANS

These individuals are an annoyance to the Filipino driver. If you see pedestrians on your way, accelerate your car to let them know who’s the boss. If you are at an intersection, let the pedestrians know you want to proceed by accelerating your car and honking at the last possible moment.

ON SOCIAL SITUATIONS

Bumping into a friend while driving (not to be taken literally) is a joyful occasion. Drivers should reduce speed and stop their cars in the middle of the street and chit chat. What about other drivers? Well, they can wait.

ON HIGHWAY DRIVING

Bottleneck Formation: To accomplish this type of driving, cars must block all lanes by driving at the same speed and side by side (to avoid other cars to pass). It is important to drive at a speed at least 20 mph below the speed limit.

The Three-Lane-Change : This movement requires a lot of precision and creativity. It should be done around the highest number of cars possible and in a matter of seconds to create what others may refer to as widespread panic.

Want some light dose of humor for the day? Check this joke forwarded to me by Dr. Arlene Sotelo <arlsotelo@yahoo.com>.

A man thought that his wife is cheating on him. Since he didn’t have a lot of money to hire an expensive private investigator, he decided to go with a much cheaper one — a Chinese man named Mr. Lee. The following day he received following report:

Mr. Honorable sir:

You leave house. I watch house. he come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with he. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I not see.

No fee,

Chen Lee

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The unlimited potential of the world wide web has transformed the Ordinary Juan to be one of the worlds instant publisher. Thanks to Friendster, Multiply, MySpace and other social networking sites.

Though some had used the internet to keep in touch with families in the Philippines and vice versa, some had simply used it to become a scandal site.

Beware that some acquaintance are not true friends, and they may post the worst in you like Karla.

The Pinoy Blogger wishes to thank everyone who participated in the Pinay Scandal Campaign. The following are as follows:

http://www.macuha.com/2007/10/seo/pinay-scandal/

http://philbuzz.blogspot.com/2007/12/pinay-scandal-most-search-keyword.html

This joke was forwarded to me by Wyn-Ann Quioco <wyn.ann.8.6@gmail.com> .

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting
by the side of the ocean.

It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do
Weeweechu.”

“Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.

“Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the
perfect time,” Pedro begged.

“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita.

“Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang…

“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”

This is a very insightful joke shared by Joe Carrasco through Ang Bagong Pinoy Yahoo E-groups.

It was the first day of school in Washington, DC and a new student named Dagohoy, the son of a Filipino immigrant, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher began, “Let’s review some American history, class. Who said ‘Give me liberty or give me death?’”

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Dagohoy’s who had his hand up,”Patrick Henry, 1775.”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

“Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth’”?

Again, no response except from Dagohoy: “Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg, 1863,” he said.

The teacher snaps at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed, Dagohoy who is new to our country knows more about our history than you do.”

She hears a loud whisper from the back: “Screw the Filipinos.”

“Who said that?” she demanded.

Dagohoy put his hand up. “General John Pershing, Manila, 1896.”

At that point, Jack, another student says, “I’m going to puke.” The teacher glares and asks, “All right! Now who said that?”

Again, Dagohoy answers, “George Bush, Sr. to the Japanese Prime Minister during the state dinner, Tokyo, 1991.”

Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!!”

“Dagohoy jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher at the top of his voice, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, the Oval Office, 1997!!”

Someone shouts, “You little shit if you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”

Dagohoy yells, “Congressman Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, Washington, D.C., 2001!”

The teacher faints. “I’m outta here!” mutters one student as he sidles to the door.

“President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Baguio City, December 30, 2002!!” Dagohoy responds.

As the class gathers around her on the floor, someone says, “Oh shit, now we’re really in big trouble!”

“Saddam Hussein, on the Iraq invasion, Baghdad, May 2003!” Dagohoy bellowed.

“Now, I really have to run,” Jack mutters, heading for the exit.

“Gloria Macapagal Arroyo again, Pampanga, October 4, 2003!!!” Dagohoy shouts triumphantly jumping with glee.

Then a burly African-American boy grabbed Dagohoy and strangled him, about to give a fistful to a frightened Dagohoy.

Then an Asian boy stood up and shouted, “Hey easy on him. I’M A FILIPINO!”

Dagohoy then blurted out before he got socked out, “Fernando Poe, Jr. Manila, January 2004!!!”

I had always aimed that this blog would not contain political issues about the Filipino. But ordinary Juan is a political animal. For an ordinary Pinoy, every serious news is an inspiration to a new breed of humor. Take the Manila Pen siege for example.

Several hours after the attempted coup led by General Danilo Lim, Former Marine Lt. and now Senator Antonio Trillanes IV, together with Former Teofisto Guigona failed, a new brand of humour aroused.Titled “Lessons Learned from Manila Pen” , the new

1. Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago